Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Bald-Faced Lies Exposed!

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On Sunday I did my part in the "Creative Writer" challenge by telling either six lies and one truth or six truths and one lie. Here's the real poop:

1. My dog ate my contact lenses three years before I stopped wearing them. LIE! Though my mother closely observed our beagle Herbie's "activities" and retrieved the contacts, I wore them only two more years.

2. I played guitar in a three-man band called The Strychnine Five. LIE! It was a two-man band. See video below.

3. I once received a fan letter from Philip Jose Farmer. TRUE. In response to my 1975 epic mimeo chapbook novella, Doc Simple, The Man of Aluminum.

4. I once (and only once) voted for a Democrat for President. LIE! I once voted Republican, and ain't saying when. Of course, I also voted for one Independent, one comedian and one duck.

5. I’ve seen Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid at least nine times. LIE! It's only eight (so far).

6. The comic book Metal Men was my idea. LIE! It was Teen Titans. Back in 1963, the editors of one of DC's try-out books, The Brave and the Bold, asked readers to suggest new series. I wrote saying I'd always wanted to see a junior Justice League. Some months later, in July 1964, Kid Flash, Aqualad and Robin appeared in a team-up. A year later they were joined by Wonder Girl and adopted the name Teen Titans. (OK, it's possible it was someone else's idea too, but I know for sure it was mine.) 

7. Neil Young once rode in my car. LIE! It was Neil Diamond. I was on the concert committee in college, and (being possessed of a very classy 1955 Buick Special) was assigned to ferry Mr. Diamond from his hotel to the show (a distance of about a mile). He was righteously stoned.

The No-Prize goes to Paul Brazill, who said they were all lies except #5, so he got 5 of 7 right. Congrats, Paul! The prize will be rushing your way via No-Mail.

The Strychnine Five was me and Mr. Drew Bentley, who used to bang our guitars around after high school in Spokane, WA (Drew is still in show biz, now playing bass for Omaha's Birks-Bentley Jazz Explosion). We never actually had any gigs, but we did have business cards, so we were a real band, right? We made our recording debut in the YouTube vid below. That's Drew singing and me thrashing the guitar. Among the many costars appearing in this video are Cap'n Bob Napier and his #2 daughter Kristine, Brian Trainer of Rock Residue, Paul Revere, The Kingsmen and The Fabulous Wailers.

9 comments:

Laurie said...

You know, you play dirty. There were all trick questions!!!! No fair! Now I guess it's my turn.

Evan Lewis said...

"Every thing possible to be believ'd is an image of truth." William Blake, The Marriage of Heaven and Hell.

Don't know how that applies, exactly, but I always thought it was a cool quote.

Anonymous said...

Those lies are amazing! Reading about your life of adventure was my evening's entertainment. What next?

David Cranmer said...

Neil Diamond is cool too.

Todd Mason said...

Indeed, though, Outrageous Lies include the likes of W being democratically elected the first time...not by shaving digits in increments of 1...thank goodness for disposable lenses, eh?

Todd Mason said...

And a grateful nation thanks you for your vote for Republican Pat Paulsen, or for New Partisan Dick Gregory, if either.

Evan Lewis said...

I'll admit that one, Todd. Pat Paulsen it was. And the duck was Howard.

Richard Prosch said...

Hey! In 1995 I met Nick Cardy at the Charlotte Heroes Con and I think he mentioned your name...

You're getting some big checks off that new TT cartoon, right or are they giving you the bums rush with that "NEW" Teen Titans jazz?

Evan Lewis said...

DC crushed my pre-teen ego by never acknowledging my letter. Of course, by then I was a Marvelmaniac anyway. DC was boring in comparison, and Teen Titans was one of the dumbest titles on the racks.