The Further Adventures of Chance Purdue

Following up on yesterday's Forgotten Books review of The DADA Caper, here are two more visits with Chance Purdue:

From The Reggis Arms Caper (1979):

___Brandy plucked at the tiny blue tufts on the bedspread.
___She said impossible.
___She said just impossible.
___She said men have never meant a blessed thing to me.
___She said a few have been so-so in bed and it stops right there.
___She said I wouldn’t give you a plugged peso for a wagonload of the bastards.
___She said they’re lazy and stupid and hopelessly incompetent.
___She said they’re everything I can’t possibly use and I have to go and fall in love with one.
___She said it just makes me sick.
___I shrugged.
___I said don’t feel bad Brandy it’s probably just a mistake.
___Brandy’s eyes flashed nasty little sparks.
___She said mistake?
___She said mistake hell.
___She said the first time you blundered in here you were six feet tall.
___She said now you look like a fugitive from Mt. Rushmore.
___She said you have a golden halo twice the size of a mill wheel.
___She said the goddam thing just hangs there and shines in my eyes.
___She said I get a great big thrill just watching you scratch your ass.
___She said when you touch me I light up like a goddam carnival and when you aren’t near me I wish to Christ I was dead and buried.
___She said does that sound like a mistake to you?

From The Radish River Caper (1981):

___Suicide Lewisite sat in gloomy silence.
___I said so what’s on your mind?
___I said you didn’t come all the way from Radish River just to step on my toe.
___Suicide Lewisite said no I’m here to hire you to investigate the Radish River Possumcats.
___He said we’ll pretend you’re some kind of sports reporter and by associating with my players you may be able to find out what the trouble is.
___I said I already know what the trouble is.
___I said you got no offense.
___I said you also got no defense.
___Suicide Lewisite said yes but there must be a reason for this.
___He said if it’s dissension I got to know about it.
___He said this team isn’t as bad as it looks and right now I’m angling for the one player who could turn it all around.
___He said if I get him we still got a shot at the bacon and I might not commit suicide as soon as expected.
___I said if he’s that good why isn’t he in the National Football League?
___Suicide Lewisite said well I understand that he’s just a bit on the eccentric side.
___He said can you be in Radish River by Saturday?
___I said hell I can be in New Zealand by Saturday.

Forgotten Books: The DADA Caper by Ross H. Spencer

Ross H. Spencer most likely did NOT invent a whole new style of storytelling. I’m guessing his peculiar technique had been used before. But when The DADA Caper was unleashed upon the world in 1978, it was certainly new to me. And probably to most other folks too.

Just what is that style? In a nutshell, it’s very short chapters with one-sentence paragraphs and no quotation marks. Some chapters read more like poetry than prose.

Most folks thought The DADA Caper was pretty cool back in '78, and it was successful enough for Spencer to follow up with four more adventures of detective Chance Purdue. I remember reading three of them. I suppose the gag could get stale after a while, but on this first reading in over twenty years it was fresh and new, and a nice interlude between “normal” works of fiction.

Here’s a sample chapter. Yep, this is a complete chapter:

___Chance Purdue.
___That is my name.
___Private Detective.
___That was my occupation.
___I handle anything.
___That was my slogan.
___Room 506 Braddock Building.
___That was my address.
___One-year lease.
___Three hundred a month.
___That was my mistake.

Here’s another, also complete, chapter:

___Betsy would breeze into the office about eleven in the morning.
___Almost every day.
___Betsy worked nights usually.
___She would sit in the client’s chair.
___After she had dusted it.
___With wild swooping motions.
___So I would know that she knew nobody had sat in it.
___Betsy would lean back and cross her long legs.
___Betsy wore very short skirts.
___And black underclothing.
___Most of the time.
___She would say how goes it Philo?
___I would shrug.
___I would say oh just great.
___Betsy would say how good is just great?
___I would say right now I am running down a few missing space capsules for NASA.
___Betsy would toss her head.
___Her blonde hair would shimmer.
___Her pale blue eyes would twinkle.
___She would say horsecrap.
___Then she would say I’ll take you to lunch.
___I would say okay.

And the fun doesn’t stop there. Instead of numbers or titles, each chapter is introduced with a few words of wisdom from an old coot named Monroe D. Underwood, who also drifts in and out of the story. A few samples:

…oncet there was a woman who took no for an answer…they stuffed her and put her in a museum…

…you show me a man what asks questions first and I’ll show you a man what is still looking for a right answer…

…oncet I knowed a man who had seven sons…named all of the Horatio…soon as they growed up they lynched him…

…feller what said every cloud got a silver lining didn’t know aluminum foil when he seen it…

I read this book in about two hours and came away happy. So yeah, I’ll be moving on to the next two already in my collection. Will I seek out books 4 and 5? We’ll see.

Check out all of this week’s fabulous Forgotten Books at pattinase.